Just a BlinkProof Time Flies

Self checkout lanes, automated voice teleprompts and ATMs alike are very transparent in their purpose.

Less labor force = More income

I am not outraged at companies creating income. Capitalism and “Big” anything don’t annoy me. What annoys me is the automated processes themselves. Now, I have come to except and use ATMs without hassle. I have used the self-checkouts a number of times, each time with a less-than-seamless experience. I have used automated voice teleprompts more times than I would have ever wanted.

Here is how a recent phone call to our unnamed health insurance company unraveled:

Automated “Employee” (AE): Hi and Thank you for calling So-and-So insurance company and affiliates.  Please say your subscriber ID.

Me: Blah-XYZ-Blah-123 (with eye roll). <I just found out that companies have you enter this information just to make you feel like you are making progress during the wait time and to ensure that you have your information at hand for them later. Ever wonder why they ask you for you information AGAIN when a real human picks up the line? The first time does absolutely nothing.>

AE: Are you calling about mental health or substance abuse?

Me: (nothing said here) I am still waiting for a number to push for yes or no

AE: I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.

Me: No. Followed by a short pause. No No! Molly get out of the dishwasher!

AE: Please try again. Are you calling about mental health or substance abuse? Please say yes or no.

Me: No. Followed by a shorter pause. M-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-M (the extra long version of Mom) did you see my trick, I can fly like an airplane!

AE: Please respond with a Yes or No so I can fully understand your response.

Me: No. Immediately followed by a Whiinnnnne from Molly for graham crackers and me saying “Just I second I’m almost done”.

AE: I am sorry please call back. I am not able to understand you at this time. click…

Hey, I can see user error all over this story but whatever happened to customer service? I miss customer service. I tried the call again and was put on hold for 10 minutes 56 seconds. Of course I had to tell her my subscriber ID again! No big deal though, she said if I log on to So-and-So insurance company’s website I could find the answer to my question. Oye!

This entry is inspired by the age old question, “How are you?” I have always felt cheap for saying “Fine and you?” But really it gets complicated doesn’t it? Here are some facets of my day.

5 Lovely Times

I walked out of my house with a swimming suit on underneath my clothes.

I got a free shot of espresso in my coffee (Super Target Starbucks in Richfield).

I ate a picnic lunch with a good friend (hi Becki!) and her daughter Lucy.

I rode up and down the Mall of America parking ramp 3 times at 30 mph for Ryan.

I got dirt under my nails pulling weeds in the patio rocks while Molly and Ry played in the sandbox.

5 Trying Times

I made a behavior chart (instead of joyfully jotting out to our park play date) for Ryan due to some major meltdowns lately.

I forgot to return an item to someone (hi DeAnna!), again!

I had a headache from not drinking enough water.

I had to distract Molly aka Whiner Buns constantly because she fussed for everything her brother had, everything.

I refolded the same laundry pile three times due to the original pile getting decimated.

5 Telling Times

I have a red Popsicle stain on my white shorts.

I have a bun in my hair, again.

I did not shave my legs before going swimming in my red bikini.

I still have paint on my elbow from yesterday.

I can still feel somewhat sexy when my doting husband Pete gets home. How, I’ll never know.

Tips from a weekend road trip Up North with a one and three year old :

• Bring ear plugs in the car. Molly, seriously, why all the crying?
• Expect that a 5 hour road trip will take 7 hours with stops.
• Sing She’ll Be Comin’ Around the Mountain. It can go a long way when people get bored.
• Do not put any sippy cups of milk in the van over night in the summer. Stinky! Opps. That’s my fault.
• Family trips are not vacations they are trips. Adjust attitude as such and voila! Mama’s happy.
• Over pack even when everybody else is rolling their eyes at the maxed out mini-van.
• Bring a portable DVD player even though your gut is saying but it’s time to unplug. Sick, I know.
• Let the kids stay up late for that extra S’more.
• Pay attention to the little things like the sounds of loons, smell of campfire smoke and the taste of fresh picked raspberries.
• Teach the kids to slow down and enjoy the moment. No more “What now?” Just be.

Stove in the A-frame cabin.

We are home sweet home with a pile of laundry that is still swimming with the aromas of Up North: Bug spray, sun screen, pine sap and camp fire smoke. We spent the weekend in an A-frame style cabin along the Canadian border. Our friends Andrew and Heather came up and stayed at a near by cabin.

Here are the highlights of our trip:

• Ryan went fishing for the first time. He caught four small mouth bass and one 14″ northern. Not bad for a 3 year old. By far his favorite part of the experience was the leeches in a cup!
• Molly loved to eat the fresh blueberries and raspberries that we picked each day.
• The kids each got to ride on a four wheeler.
• I got to take a photo walk one morning. Still water, calling loons, and no kids. Lovely.
• Peter was able to brush up his skills with a shot gun. He and Andrew did some serious clay shooting. Peter has a bruise on his shoulder to prove it.

The dock at sunrise.