Leah Rose, born the youngest of my twins, is my forth child.

Leah warming-up in her Isolette box in the NICU.

Leah was breach pretty much the whole pregnancy, so her sweet little head spent a great deal of time under my ribs. She was born at 36 weeks at 5 lbs. 5oz. via c-section. She spent 8 days at the Hospital in the Natal Intensive Care Unit. She needed oxygen for the first day or two to help her breath more easily. She fought hard to catch-up to her birth weight. She had a liking for the premie pacifier, which was great because I took a long time to get down to the NICU to breastfeed her in her room. (My Hospital room was across the building from Leah and Claire.) We had to weigh her before and after a feeding and weigh each soiled diaper to monitor her milk intake. She had part-time bottles via feeding tube to help get the calories she needed in her tummy! I pumped a lot during the first few weeks.

Ryan holding Leah for a bottle feeding.

Everyone pitched in to help take care of things before and after Leah and her sister were born. (I had been on partial bed-rest for about a month before I delivered.) Meals came when we needed them the most and loving friends and family took care of my preschoolers when I was unable to attend to them. There were a lot of reasons to be grateful. I can say without a doubt I know what it is like to be ‘held’ by God’s Grace. There was no time to worry, just to hold babies and sigh with joy.

Leah in the baby swing at the "far park" by our townhouse.

As Leah grew she blossomed into a little sweet pea that liked to eat. She loved goldfish crackers, whole milk, apple slices and chicken.  I remember loading the dishwasher, each night, with a “top rack only” load, to keep up the flow of clean bottles and formula pitchers. We bought diapers and formula by the truck load. And we washed clothes and blankets like we ran a laundr-O-mat.

Leah's 1st Birthday Cake Face

Leah turned One!  She watched the “big kids” play outside and identified FUN right away. Leah honed her dare-devil spunk and took to the driveway with her pink motorcycle push-toy. It didn’t stop there. She climbed, pushed or tackled anything that looked adrenaline inducing. Much in her big sister Molly’s footsteps.

Leah, in CJ's coat, at her first Easter Egg Hunt. (Grammy Lu's house)

Her expressive nature became a defining quality.  The coy tilt of her head and the gentle sweep of her lip, took even the toughest adults to their knees. At times, she took on the roll as “youngest” as she used her cries and smiles to try and get all the attention, toys, and cuddles from her siblings.

Leah "sitting" in the fridge at the new house.

Her passion for life is unhidden. Her eyes are as adorable as her spirit is clever. She takes a great deal of effort to steal her Taggie during the day so she can suck her thumb, wrinkle her nose at me and RUN!

I call her Lea-Lu. She calls me Mommy.

Love,

Jess

Born the eldest of the my twins, she is my third child.

Claire in the NICU

Born 5 lbs. 12 oz. at 36 weeks via c-section. She spent 8 days in the Natal Intensive Care Unit after birth. She was healthy but too early, so she needed a little help eating and staying warm. We couldn’t have visitors for the whole week because the H1N1 virus had just spread over the community forcing the NICU to only open its doors to necessary visitors, like us. It was hard to have my family and friends excluded from the experience, so we took a lot of photos to share on facebook. She had tubes to help feed her and an Isolette box to keep her warm. The nurses helped feed her while I painfully recovered from surgery back in my room. I came to the NICU as I could but I didn’t see her as much I’d expected to in the first few days. But, we tried as hard as we could to be in the room with her to change her premie diapers and take her temperature. I was so happy to see my “baby a” in person.

Molly at home with Claire (Me nursing Leah in the background)

Home life with Claire was cozy. Two small pack and plays were set-up next to my bed for the twins. I kept Claire and her sister on the same schedule of sleeping and feeding, most of the time. I stayed in my room taking care of the twins for 2 months. I am not sure where Peter slept or what happened to my other kids during that time. I was in a cocoon I guess.

Claire in her car seat

And out the cocoon, popped a bright-eyed healthy baby ready to go-go-go! I swear, Claire taught herself to crawl just so she could dump out the basket of DVDs and reach in to the dishwasher. She sucked her thumb at night with her taggie and eventually made it to the “big crib” in the kids’ bedroom.

Claire's 1st Birthday Cake Face

Claire was a good napper. She took two naps a day at 2 hours a pop. This gave me a much needed break in the day from all the toddler action. Claire loved sweets, peas, cottage cheese, bread and Crazy Bread. I took her to MOPS at local church twice a month.

Claire's first Easter Egg Hunt (in Leah's coat)

With time came confidence. CJ loved brushing her own teeth at bedtime, climbing into her own booster seat in the kitchen, and riding her own push car in the driveway.

Putting her 'feet up' at the beach

Her eyes are as bold as her will is strong. Her heart is not satisfied to conform, but seeks a humble uniqueness. She engages the World with a cautious spirit. She shows ownership in her blanket and taggie lovey and love to her dolls. She likes to set things in motion in her own way.

I call her CJ. She calls me Mom.

Love,

Jess

As 2011 rang in, I made my One Word Resolution to Remember.

The Big Blur just hit me and it hit hard. Twin Parenting literature claims up to the first 2 years with multiples can be labeled The Big Blur. I am feeling teary-eyed over every hurdle in my day. It’s like I went to sleep in 2009 and just woke up to today. I don’t remember when the babies learned to walk or what they first had to eat.

I know we had fun, I was present in the everyday. I know I had tons of love for them on every level. But, yet I freaked out when I can’t place certain seasons of their life, or my life for that matter. I can’t even look at the photos from the NICU in the hospital without choking up to the point of serious swelling of the throat. I just flip over the photo for fear of an ‘ugly’ cry consuming my entire afternoon. You know the kind that causes headaches and feverish mascara streaks?  Yep. Feverish.

In a campaign to help me stitch together the last year or so, I will be going serious photo hunting and posting about things that happened. Just a few things that may help me heal.

Remember, what a powerful word.

Love,

Jess

How does she keep growing-up before my very eyes? Really, when do kids grow? I swear I never saw that baby face melt away forever. It was just gone one day. Sob, if I could only go back and squeeze those apple cheeks one more time!

What a year it has been watching my big toddler grow into a little preschooler. In some ways it seems as though Molly has always been apart of our family. It is hard to believe that it has only been 4 years!

At the carnival last summer

Me and Molly on the boat

Ryan and Molly climbing on the Zoo's Mosquito statue

Cleaning at the townhouse with a "scrubbie".

The three PJs Musketeers, Claire, Leah, Molly

Molly proudly displaying her new matching outfit with her doll Stella (sewn by our friend Carrie).

Molly, the morning of her fourth Birthday

Molly, what a spunky little hopper! Our wiggle worm, our middle child, our most adoring fan! We love you Molly!

Love,

Jess

Moving Day has come and gone.

Packed boxes were stacked, sorted, and stamped.

Moving Time with Claire Joy

We readied ourselves for the “new house” with great anticipation.

Leah and Molly practice "packing" while Dad laughs on!

Our goodbyes were held with tears held tightly in our throats.

Leah, Molly, and Claire snuggle a goodbye with their "best friends" Neasha and Bri.

Many strong helpers heaved furniture and the contents of our life into a truck. Then we drove away, ready to expand into a larger home to fit our family. Ready for the next 20 years of our life to begin. Ready to pull over and buy a box of tissues because I forgot moving is such a roller coaster of memories of the old house and hopes for the new one.

Memories like this…

Ryan,2, snuggling with his new baby sibling-to-be, while I read Goodnight Moon for the hundredth time.

Funny, things memories. They just don’t fit into a box, they have to live in the heart.

Regardless, I brought all my memories (some sharper than others) to the “new house”, which we now lovingly call home.

Home Sweet New Home

Love,

Jess

I am moving in 3 weeks.

Originally, we were going to live in our current home, for 3 years. Then, 3 years turned in to 6 years.  Six years of living, brought our family size up to 6 people.

Our family’s combined 12 legs are excited for some real leg room. Yet, my heart will always have ties for our “starter home”.

Below, I have stitched together some photos and memories from our home.

Hail storm 2008 - Molly, Ryan and Me

• Jesus met me, often in times I was stubborn and failing and needed Him the most
• three daughters were brought home from the hospital
• my eldest son went of on the big yellow bus

A darn good sandwich from my kitchen!

• I tried to just be present in the moments of my life and not worry about the past
• I became the tooth fairy
• I started living simply with actions and purchases – no consumer debt

Molly, Ryan, Claire, Leah 2009

• Molly learned to share a room and everything she owned with her siblings
• Leah learned to fly down the stairs at the speed of light
• I changed 10 million diapers – not even kidding

Pete's Birthday Candles 2010

• Ryan learned to walk one minute and grew-up into an almost 1st grader the next
• I laughed till my eyes cried
• I did not garden or have a pet – I already have enough dirt and poop in my life

Ryan and his best neighbor pal Mason.

• Claire learned to sign “all done” after her meal
• I recognized chores were for the propulsion of life…not my life
• I cried and argued over things I’ll never remember anyway

Me and the twins napping on the couch

• Leah learned to fly down the stairs at the speed of light
• Ryan learned to ride a bike in the driveway
• I learned to decorate my walls

Pete and Ryan on a skateboard - 2007

Truly, home is where the heart is!

Love,

Jess

Hi Readers!

Time to get into the blogosphere once more.

Leah, me, Molly, Ryan, Peter, Claire

What’s UP?

Leah is 1 1/2 years old. Her clever yet sweet pea nature is fun to watch – not so fun to clean-up after. She loves to read her picture books and says words like, “bubble, baby, ball”.

I, ahem, will be coming up on the double anniversary of my Sweet Sixteenth birthday. My interest in creating home decor and shabby furniture has taken off into a serious hobby. Check out Shabby Mamas, for more details.

Molly is on the cusp of turning four. She has just completed her first year in preschool. She is a wiggly wonder-girl. Her antics never cease to make me laugh or pull out my hair – sometimes both.

Ryan is ending Kindergarten as a confidant and caring 6 1/2 year old. He has one loose tooth and 14 bruises/scrapes. He pronounces the restaurant Culver’s as “Carvells” and it is too cute to correct.

Pete, is timeless and classic. He proves his steadfast love for his us time and time again. He loves reading political action literature on his new Kindle.

Claire is 1 1/2 years old. Her darling smile is surpassed only by her darling determination. She loves to kiss her Dad, scoot on her push-toy, and throw food.

Wishing time could stretch a little farther…

Jess

How do I get away? Just do the math.

Take my husband and I

+6 mornings sleeping-in

+ 5 nights without interruption

+ 4 willing grandparents, that stayed home to watch our 4 kids

+ 3 days at resort with a chair-lift in the back yard, outdoor hot-tubs and fireplace suites

+2 college friends that are super fun, and drove us everywhere from Sacramento to Chico,CA

+1 novel read, the 4th book in the Twilight series

= One happy couple!

We were so blessed to have had the chance to visit our friends and have our first getaway since our honeymoon (8 1/2 years ago)!

Love,

Jess

I was just there…

Ryan, in diapers, with his newborn sister Molly. 2007

Then I was here…

Ryan and Molly, not in diapers, teaching baby Leah how to skooch. 2010

I was just there…

Molly and Ryan in their pjs. (The first time I successfully washed two kids and had them ready for bed together.) 2007

Then I was here…

Ryan and Leah with Claire and Molly. 2010 (All four had just been bathed and jammied.)

Time flies between diapers and baths, I guess.

Love,

Jess