Just a BlinkProof Time Flies

If it happened to anyone else it would have been funny.

The last thing I remember saying was “Can’t everyone just be quiet!”

The last thing I remember doing turning my eyes off the road to fiddle around in the back seat.

Next, I felt the curb.

I jerked up my head just in time to swerve into my neighbors lawn, avoiding a huge head on crash with the mailbox.

I did not jerk my head up just in time, however, to miss the mailbox completely. Darn.

My white Jeep bucked the 20 person association-style lock-port mailbox like a cartoon anvil.

Seriously, it would have been comical, if say, I was watching it on YouTube. But, no, it was me in real life…scared and crying.

The implications are overwhelming.

What if someone had been checking their mail?  Sigh…. What if the kids had been hurt? How am going to pay for this? What if someone had been there, a kid, a dog, another car. What if, what if????

The police came and filled out a report. My neighbor comforted me while my nerves settled down. My husband sighed deeper than I have ever heard anyone sigh in my life.

My son, 4 years old, gave me a driving lesson,

“Just drive around things that are not in the road, drive straight from now on.”

Thankfully, nobody was hurt except my checkbook and my dignity. I have been thanking God all day for the mercy in the situation. No one was checking their mail, no one.

Fearfully Focused,

Messy Jess

PS Yes, Mom I will keep my eye on the road from now on, I promise, not even to look at my flip flop.

Standing Still While Speeding

My life is hurdling by, at a rate that is most typical. (at least to a young family with two kids and two on the way)

Long days that push my strength limits.

Longer nights that pull at my eye lids.

Fast weeks that provide much change or little change at all.

Motor months that feel like a splash of yearly repeated Holidays.

Blink-able years.

So yes, I do try and take it all in, blink by blink it goes on. All the while trying to figure out what “it all” really is anyway.

I would like to remember the endless knock-knock jokes, the ou-wies shown with pride, the yelling, the cuddling, the everything the “it all” means.

I would like to remember the feeling of being held by a loving God during laundry mountains, financial pressures, morning sickness, and sibling issues in my children and this-house-is-too-small agreements with my beloved Neat Pete.

Things will be different. Places will change. Priorities will shift.

My naturally brunette hair will be a distant memory.

My desire for alone time will be met and feel incredibly quiet.

My heart will be consumed as I balance my time taking care of my grand babies and aging parents.

But while I can, I embrace the moment {Just a blink. Just a breath. Just a stitch.} knowing I am living in tomorrow’s memories.

It’s amazing what a neighborhood drainage ditch can be to anyone with an imagination.

Love,

Messy Jessy

PS The twins are at 14 weeks and I am starting to turn a corner in my all-day sickness. yes! Though I am continuing my Unisom and B6 treatment for now. Thanks for those of you that inquired!

Looking For Spring

I feel ready for Spring to burst into my life at any minute. I think Spring got frozen under the sheet of ice on my driveway.

I look for hope in everything but politics. I look to God for a sense of order. I look to family for support and laughter. I look back. I look ahead.

I look for Spring….waiting….

As if unexpected car repairs (leaving me stranded in a snow storm for an hour); leaky faucets (ruining everything under the sink and more); a goose egg on my dear Molly’s fore-head; and watching my G-ma GG come near to the end of her days is not enough…my Uncle passed away 7 days before Christmas.

I do not share the above list for pity. Rather, I share it to keep it real. My heart is balancing on a tight rope of darkness and light. Hope and Joy are ever present even during the most difficult days that turn into difficult nights. I have comfort from the Comforter, Jesus.

I strive to be graceful under pressure. I am saying hello to peace. Long ago I used to only find a nightmarish anger. Praise God for love!

I would like to share some of the love I had for my Uncle Mick.

Dear Uncle,

My heart is heavy with loss. My memories of you are strong. Your laugh is still with me.

Thank you for your continuous generosity, genuine curiosity and unyielding verbosity.

Thank you for fighting for your nation and your brothers. Your sacrifice has been an inspiration.

Good-bye Uncle Mickey. I hope to see you again.

Greatest Love and Respect,

Jessica

Uncle Mick at a family party (summer 2008), ever ready to engage in discussion, sits in the living room as I busy myself in the kitchen. (I am in the background).

21 Gun Salute to Mick's service in the Air Force and Vietnam War.

My, newly widowed, Aunt Rosie receiving Mick's burial flag of the United States of America.